And it sounds great, y'know, it's what I always wanted, to be living with them, to never have to go home. But things never go the way I want. It's like I'm a pumpkin, around Halloween, and all the guts, all that orange stuff inside has been scooped out and thrown away. I feel hollow. It hurts.And all the reasons why I never told Carly have come true. If I touch her she flinches, if I say her name she turns too fast, too eager, but she won't look me in the eye. Spencer doesn't know about what happened between us. I don't think Freddie does either. And it's bad enough, them treating me like a stained-glass Sam. I tease Fredbag, and I get nothing. He'll just smile and agree. And maybe it's that that's worst of all. That even Freddie, even Freddie feels sorry for me. I need to insult him. I need Carly to touch me without thinking. I need Spencer to treat me like his little s!ster. Then maybe things could get better, maybe then they could go back to normal.But the way they keep treating. Josie was over the moon, having become pregnant with our child. I was pretty giddy myself until the responsibility kicked in. No matter what happened to Josie or me, I had to provide for our sprout. Josie wondered at my smile for a couple weeks until I broke down and explained my ideas. Then she was all for it.I began building a low stone building at the rear of my property, out behind the smokehouse. Whenever I wandered around in the woods and found a small bald, I felt around for whatever the woods had rejected. If I found nothing I continued on, figuring that it was just a fluke. Otherwise I used my talents to surround it in gravel and clay, then compress the hell out of it to make a huge stone block. Each one got a glazed surface then quickly cooled. This I rode back to my home as if I were sitting on a flying horse. The first time I did it I realized that I'd done a new thing--I flew! I showed Josie how to do it as well. She was ecstatic!Anyway, I slowly accumulated a cache of.
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